Monday, 13 August 2012

Health and Safety Course Failed - Why?


Gladys failed a Health and Safety course at the Local Senior Centre today.  

One of the questions was:  
"In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"  

"F..........g' big ones," was apparently, not the right answer.

On A Dark Stormy Night - It Happened!.....


THE STORM



They were together in the House. 

Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night.. The storm had come quickly


And 

Each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and

Wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her

From the storm.



Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out.... She screamed...

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.

He knew this was a forbidden union and

Expected her to pull back.


He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on...



They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand... So consumed were

They in their FEAR that they heard no opening

Of doors...just the faint click of a camera...... 

look
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   Have you smiled today?




YES, YOU'VE BEEN HAD.......

To Reminisce And Walk Down Memory Lane.


A little house with three bedrooms,
One bathroom and one car on the street.
A mower that you had to push
To make the grass look neat.
ATT00069
In the kitchen on the wall
We only had one phone,
And no need for recording things,
Someone was always home.
ATT00072


We only had a living room
Where we would congregate,
Unless it was at mealtime
In the kitchen where we ate.
ATT00075


We had no need for family rooms
Or extra rooms to dine.
When meeting as a family
Those two rooms would work out fine.
ATT00078

We only had one TV set
And channels maybe two,
But always there was one of them
With something worth the view.

For snacks we had potato chips
That tasted like a chip.
And if you wanted flavor
There was Lipton's onion dip.

Store-bought snacks were rare

'Cause mother liked to cook.

And nothing can compare to snacks

In Betty Crocker's book.
ATT00081

Weekends were for family trips
Or staying home to play.
We all did things together --
Even go to church to pray.
ATT00093
ATT00087
ATT00090

When we did our weekend trips
Depending on the weather,
No one stayed at home because
We liked to be together.
ATT00096

Sometimes we would separate
To do things on our own,
But we knew where the others were
Without our own cell phone.
ATT00099

Then there were the movies
With your favorite movie star,
And nothing can compare
To watching movies in your car.
ATT00105

Then there were the picnics
At the peak of summer season,
Pack a lunch and find some trees
And never need a reason.
ATT00102

Get a baseball game together
With all the friends you know.
Have real action playing ball,
And no game video.
ATT00108

Remember when the doctor
Used to be the family friend,
And didn't need insurance
Or a lawyer to defend
ATT00111

The way that he took care of you
Or what he had to do,
Because he took an oath and strived
To do the best for you.
ATT00114

Remember going to the store
And shopping casually,
And when you went to pay for it
You used your own money?
ATT00117

Nothing that you had to swipe
Or punch in some amount,
And remember when the cashier person
Had to really count?
ATT00120

The milkman used to go
Go from door to door
For just a few cents more
Than going to the store.
ATT00123

There was a time when mailed letters
Came right to your door
Without a lot of junk mail ads
Sent out by every store.

The mailman knew each house by name
And knew where it was sent.
There were not loads of mail addressed
To "present occupant."
ATT00126

There was a time when just one glance
Was all that it would take,
And you would know the kind of car,
The model and the make.
ATT00129

They didn't look like turtles
Trying to squeeze out every mile;
They were streamlined, white walls, fins
And really had some style.
ATT00132
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ATT00138

One time the music that you played
Whenever you would jive
Was from a vinyl, big-holed record
Called a forty-five.
ATT00150

The record player had a post
To keep them all in line
And then the records would drop down
And play one at a time.
ATT00153

Oh sure, we had our problems then,
Just like we do today,
And always we were striving,
Trying for a better way.

Oh, the simple life we lived
Still seems like so much fun,
How can you explain a game,
Just kick the can and run?
ATT00156

And why would boys put baseball cards
Between bicycle spokes?
And for a nickel, red machines
Had little bottled Cokes?
ATT00159
ATT00162

This life seemed so much easier
And slower in some ways.
I love the new technology
But I sure do miss those days.
ATT00165

So time moves on and so do we
And nothing stays the same.
But I sure love to reminisce
And walk down memory



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